god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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