I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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