I am in a vortex of obligation.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
