i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
