May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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