Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
