Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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