I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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