I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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