I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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