i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
