He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The air was thick with penises
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
