Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
