A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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