I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize