You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
