You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize