you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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