there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
