U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize