'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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