Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
