We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
