I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
