Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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