Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
