so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
