Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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