I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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