; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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