their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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