the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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