I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
