Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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