Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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