Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
