Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize