yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you win again, gameday.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
