I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
