I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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