the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
