being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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