So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
