WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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