Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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