lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
either way he was missing a nipple.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
