I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
