An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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