Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Even my vagina gasped.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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