he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
