my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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