it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
