a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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