***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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