Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
