Well apparently he's into motor boating.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
