You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
