yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
