I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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