I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
