We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
