69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
