wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
