it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
