He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
