Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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