Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
