It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
