Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
