I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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